I Need a Project...

School starts back for me next Wednesday. For the past week I haven't been in school, I've been all over the place. I'm better about working out, but I m obsessin with online shopping has taken a toll on my bank account. Enough is enough. First plan of action: Come up with a budget. That way I'll have a certain allotment of money that I can spend on me and it won't bother anything. Plus add some fun money in there so William and I can go and do some fun things once in a while. Figure bills in there and gas and groceries. I might need a sample budget to look at before doing this. There's one thing I can do instead of shop.

Second plan: In my free time, work on my blog(!), read(!!!), and social network. That stuff is pretty cheap. Another thing I want to do is start re-decorating the house. Just come up with ideas on how it needs to look. It sounds expensive, but it takes me so long to figure out what is just right that by the time I'm ready, I shoul have built up a small fortune lol. Plus, I want to sew and make most of the decor in my house.

Which leads me to plan 3: Break out the ole sewing machine and get cracking at some crafts and sewing projects. Ill post pics here and if these projects are good enough... I want to sell on etsy to make a little side money to fund my online shopping habit... er, um, or put money back into savings for the future home we plan on building.

Better go get started! If you guys have any suggestions, I'm open to ny and all! I have got to re-learn how to budget and be more thrifty!!!

It's August?

These past few months have flown by! I can't believe it's already August! In a little more than a month we will be at the beach (woohoo!), I'm finally finished with the summer semester and this fall semester will be my last on at community college and then I transfer. Wow. Well, this summer has kinda stunk. I've been stuck inside working or doing schoolwork.

My weight loss has kind of plataued (sp?) and I'm about to get a gym membership. I think doing a combination of my 60 Day Slimdown, working out at the gym, plus doing a Zumba or Pilates class will help with the exercise half of it. I'm still working on portion control and not eating junk food. I'm really hoping to lose 15lbs before we head to the beach.

School is... well school. I have a B is Business Law, C in Calculus, and I'm not sure about Stats... it should be a C but my teacher is a jerk and needs to quit being a professor. The grades don't match up and I'm gonna be so pissed if I have a D in that class. Like seriously, my teacher talks about her other 2 full time jobs besides teaching and people wonder why she doesn't give too much time to her classes? It's unacceptable. Ugh. Anyways...

I'll try and update more soon. Right now, I'm going to use my time off from school to get this house super clean!

Me vs. The Work Weekend

So here it is, another Friday. And as most of you know, I only work Friday-Sunday. Which might have sme of you thinking "Heck yeah! Only 3 days of work? Sing me up.!" Hold the phone. It's 20 hours jammed into 3 days and I'm on my feet at the mercy of strangers who decide how much I deserve to make (i.e. tips) and by Sunday I'm ready to just fall out. It's not a hard job in theory. If I worked 5-8 for 5 days a week, it wouldn't be a problem... but I go in at 5 and get off at 1 and then I drive 15 minutes to get home and sometimes I have to do homework or finish laundry or something and I'm usually not in bed until 3.

So, I'm not really complaining... I know it could be loads worse and I like my job. But I am so ready to work an 8/9-5 in an office and have a steady paycheck instead of walking up to some person's MANSION and getting .04 cents of a tip and him being all "The rest is yours." Yeah, thanks. Oh yeah, by the way... we don't get gas money for working, we make a small percentage of the total of our orders... so please please tip your delivery driver. I wouldn't get so mad if the whole $2 delivery fee actually went to us.

Any way... the point is, I'm ready to get out of school. I'm ready for a normal job where I can put William into a daycare instead of searching for babysitters (thank God I've got my mom right now) because no childcare is available after 5pm or on weekends. I'm ready to cook dinners at 7 instead of late at night. Ready to have my weekends back!!!

I'm grateful to have a job, but I'm ready for change.

Being a Grown-Up Is Tough...

Bills, responsibilities, endless to do lists... sometimes I just want to curl up in bed and cry. I'm still trying to manage stress and financial stuff. I have to go to student loan counseling next week and I might have a melt-down. As in "I know I have to pay these back, but I'm in college to do something other than deliver pizaa for the rest of my life so I need my damn money!!!" kind of melt down. My debt isn't even that great and once I graduate, it won't be as bad as some people's debt. As in, my debt may be high, but it's not going to be as high as the tuition for one year at some schools. Thank the Good Lord UAH is not as bad as say, Harvard.

And now I'm trying to quit buying Ju-ju-bes and focus on saving money for the beach and Christmas and... well, savings in general. I just need to re-figure a budget that'll work for my family... and I need to do this asap.

School has been stressful, but Monday is my last day of classes and I have a bit of a break until school starts back on the 17th. I'm still unsure if I want to pursue Management, Marketing, or Accounting... and I only have a few months to decide before I transfer.

Oh yeah, I also have a house to keep clean and a little boy to take care of. I think everything will be so much easier once I'm done with school. It's going to stink having to put William in daycare, but I'll have an actual full time job with benefits, I'll be able to get off work at a reasonable hour, I'll be making a lot more money... I just got to tredge through another 18-24 months.

Small Victories

I'm down to 160. Which means I have loset 10lbs since the beginning of June. It feels so awesome and I hope to be down 10lbs more by the end of August. I am so excited that I have been able to keep up with my 60 Day Slimdown for the past 2 weeks. I have also steered clear of soft drinks since I started this plan *fist pumps*

So, my goal... keep up with the good work. It's exhausting working out and I'm still tempted every day by fast food and unhealthy snacks and I know they are ok in moderation, but I'm not able yet to stay within moderation lol. I'm learning about portion control and making healthier choices which is fantastic. I want to be a good example to William.

I'm hoping to get down to a healthy weight by the end of September. A healthy weight meaning 145lbs. My goal is 135.

Gotta remember, baby steps.

Rock Bottom

We all have our breaking point. Stress, insecurities, responisibilities... life... it takes over and we feel trapped.

This happened to me last night. Things have been going well. But as I've said over the past few months, I've got a lot on my plate. And after I bombed my Stats test last night, all of that just hit me in the chest and sent me over the edge. I felt stuck and out of control. I prayed and prayed last night that is God was there, to please please please, help me finally. I'm tired of living like this, I'm tired of the way I treat myself.

I want self control and to be normal. So I'm done. Fed up. I'm finally going to do what's best for me... re-figure things out. Not let stupid people and what they have to say control the way I think.

I have a husband and son who love me dearly. I have friends, both in real life and online. I've got stability.

I have a lot to do, but I should focus on my schooling first instead of trying to fit so much into every day. I'm going to come up with a new game plan... and not just with school, but with my life. I'm tired of pulling my hair for release... it's a stupid disease that I won't let control me anymore. I am going to be in control of my body image. I'm going to be in control of me.

At rock bottom, there's no where to go but up, right?

McFatty... Wednesday?

I wasn't going to do McFatty Monday this week... I had forgotten about it since monday was so busy... but guys, I'm so excited. I'm at 162 now... That's 8lbs down from where I was at when I re-started this at the beginning of June! And 3lbs down from when I started the 60 day slimdown last week.

I'm so very proud of myself. And I can so tell a difference. Not just in my appearance, but in my overall mood. Yes, I'm still stressed the hell out most days, but I'm less groggy and tired throughout the day. I feel like I have something to look forward to in a workout. I uess my body is finally giving me a break after the way I've treated it. I hope the stress goes away soon too!

But guys, if you are struggling to lose weight and think you can't do it, you can! I understand how hard it is to start out and how unbelievable the cravings for cookies and McDonald's fries and... oh my goodness a big ole milkshake from Jack's are. It's tough to pass up cravings. But if you can get to where you can eat these things in moderation, it'll be so worth it. I'm still getting there and am always here for support.

How have you guys been feeling lately? Is working out still a struggle or are you a champ now?